Sun rises to a brand new day. The pain of the last few has started to fade. It will always be there. To expect it to be a thing of the past this early would be a gift. A gift that will not be received.
Roll around in bed knowing that the second my eyelids open, the reality will hit. Hold them closed as long as possible. Live in this, don’t let it go, I tell myself. It is useless though. You know she is gone.
Physically she is right there with you. Her smell fills the room. Her presence sits heavy on your heart. Emotionally, she is gone.
Eyes open, sensory overload. Sit up. Breathe.
Begin today. Its a new day. A day that has never been experienced. This can be different.
It doesn’t have to be. It may not be. It is worth the try though.
Remember, today is yours. No one is leaning on you for help or for that emotion. Your heart may scream for it. It may lash around in your chest like a ricocheting bullet hitting everything along the way. Your stomach tightens. Chest is heavy. Breath.